When Jesus suddenly appeared in Palm Beach, he was inquiring about the National Enquirer. He had a squeegee in his hand and a bud in the pocket of his old bellbottoms.
In New York Jesus performed a miracle for the Mets. Levitated a few inches on top of the mound. Miracles of the pretzels.
In Philly Jesus looked up Kenny Gamble and had his copy of Love Train autographed. He asked everyone about Bookbinder’s soup.
In State College Pennsylvania Jesus’s Che t-shirt drew a few stares.
In Cleveland Jesus walked on the lake. It was frozen solid.
In South Bend Jesus learned how to make the touchdown signal. Laughed every time.
In Detroit Jesus cleared the floor dancing to Marvin Gaye’s Hitch-hike. He said he liked the Mercury better than the Ford.
In Grosse Point Jesus got run in for vagrancy. Judge let him go on St. Patrick’s Day.
In Chicago Jesus shot craps on the South Side. He said nice things about Mies van der Rohe.
In St. Louis he sat on a bench, reading The Immoralist by Gide.
In Springfield, Mo. Jesus trimmed his beard way back and started wearing a bun.
In Tulsa Jesus bought an old vinyl copy of Kind of Blue.
In Oklahoma City . Jesus borrowed a dobro and sang “Your Cheatin’ Heart” bringing the house down.
In Fort Worth Jesus sang “Search and Destroy” at a Karaoke bar and took his shirt off.
In Yuma Jesus wore pink sweater with rhinestones and played 8 ball at Burgers and Beer until closing time.
In Roswell, Jesus skipped the UFO Museum but wanted to see where Demi Moore grew up.
In Albuquerque Jesus only spoke Spanish.
In Flagstaff Jesus bought corn dogs for everyone. Turned water into Coors.
In Reno Jesus got free lap dances all night long.
In Salt Lake he went out to see Spiral Jetty and cried. His tears crystallized as they fell.
In Bakersfield Jesus bought an electric blue El Camino with a shotgun rack.
Jesus never made it to Los Angeles. The truck was often seen up in Humboldt.